


Contempt

by AsheCorinthos



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Drabble, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26371027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsheCorinthos/pseuds/AsheCorinthos
Summary: —it's not her fault that he's a cheating, lying traitor, but she can't help the feeling that she made him that way.
Relationships: Hatsune Miku/Kagamine Len, Hatsune Miku/Kagamine Len/Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len/Kagamine Rin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Contempt

Have you ever felt so disgusted by someone that you can't bear to be in the same room as them?

Isn't it so much worse when it's someone you love? Someone who was the only person you trusted, the only one you could put your faith into?

Sick of looking at them, of hearing their voice, of watching them pretend even though all the while they tear holes through your soul, clawing down your defenses and crushing you almost unintentionally though they _know_ they're to blame for your unhappiness?

And they also love to ask you that _question-_ the one you both have the answer to, but they feign ignorance and so do you.

" _What's wrong?"_

_Everything. Everything, everything,_ _ everything. _

" _ **Nothing**_ _."_

The lies slip through her teeth so easily they may as well be liquid, drowning her from the inside.

But she knows. Rin already knows that when he smiles at her, he offers that smile to someone else. That when he leaves to go to work, that he's meeting up with the woman who takes up all his time. The boy she'd fallen in love with has changed, inexplicably and completely. He no longer only sees her.

When he kisses her, he imagines that tealette- and so does she. She can taste the bubblegum aftertaste of her lipstick, catch her scent on his clothes. She wonders if the other woman touches him the way she does, if she says his name with as much love as Rin once did.

She can't bear his presence anymore. She avoids him, hides away- and waits. He's bold, too; he invites the other girl inside when he thinks Rin is asleep. She hears the click of his bedroom door close, the snap of the lock. If she waits long enough, she can hear the noises inside, the muffled but distinguishable sounds that turn her stomach and make her wish she never existed.

Disgusting. Vile. _Trash._

That's what he is- so why is it that _she_ feels just the same?

As if it's her fault that he strayed from her, that he went into the arms of another girl. That he confesses love in husky whispers in the dark to someone other than herself.

It's not, it's not her fault that he's a cheating, lying traitor- but she can't help the feeling that she made him that way. That somehow she pushed him into this, that she wasn't good enough for him. Did she do something wrong? Did she make a mistake somewhere?

_(No, of course not.)_

She gets nauseous now, being around him. Seeing Miku beside him, the two of them laughing like old friends right in front of her as if they're stupid enough to think she knows nothing.

_(What kind of person do they take her for?)_

She knows _everything._ Every dirty, gritty secret between them, she knows. Listens to her best friend complain about the guy she's seeing and his bad habits, bad habits Rin knows by heart and accepted a long time ago. Miku takes him for granted so easily, gets upset. Pretends to be talking about someone entirely different.

Lies. Everything she's told is lies now. Every other word out of either her best friend or her boyfriend is another untruth to add to the list, another excuse, another evasion.

 _Disgusting._ They're both digging deep into her, twin knives dipping in and out of her chest until she's punctured through, bleeding tears she dares not let them see.

Enough. _She's had enough._

"If you're so unhappy with me, then you can leave." Words thrown her way in a fit of rage, that Len casts at her so fast she can't wrap her head around them. Words that _she_ should've said- no, that she _has_ said in her silent screams of anger. How dare he say them, as if he has some kind of right to.

When he spoke, she felt herself reel back, remembering all the times he'd plead with her to stay. To be with him forever and always, to stay by his side. Just like he would this time, after he'd regret what he'd shouted- but no.

Her reprieve had come.

_Gladly I'll leave. I'll run as far as I can, and I hope the two of you repulsive people have a lovely life together. I don't want this anymore, can't do this anymore._

_I have to_ _ go. _

The next moments were a blur. She was gone so fast even she couldn't believe it. Her things already half packed, her shoes by the door, her keys already in her pocket.

She'd been planning for this for so long that to finally get out was like being splashed with fresh, cold water- a refreshing experience.

She never looked back, never answered his calls, disappeared. Ran as far as she could from him and Miku.

Of course she knew she'd never be able to erase the images of the two of them from her head. They'd always be there, burned into her memory. They'd scarred her, forced her to swallow poisonous feelings until they'd etched themselves permanently into her blood.

But now she's free. Now, she'd be free to run as far as she possibly could.

Nothing would be able to stop her from here on.

A fresh start- finally. After what had felt like years of preparation, decades of heartbreak, and centuries of bottling up her own feelings, she was gone, like a flame finally blown out. Even if her heart yearned for him still, even if somewhere in the pit of her soul she wanted to forgive and forget her best friend— she never would. Not now, not ever.

They deserved to writhe in their self-loathing, to drown in their pools of greed like how she had suffered.

The hatred and contempt for them would never fade, but Rin would never be weak again. She would never let them win against her _ever again_.

Finally, her heart was allowed to feel something other than disgust and longing.

Finally, she was at peace.

* * *

**A/n:** _I wrote this 3 years and found it buried in my documents folder when I was trying to find unfinished stories to complete. Can't believe I didn't post it, but don't know if it was finished or not, so it's going out anyways since it seems fine the way it is lol. 3 years is too long for me to remember where I was going with plot, haha. Hope you enjoyed._


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